24 Nov, 2020
Soon some little children will be going through one of the most traumatic days of their lives. On this day they will be dressed in a uniform, taken to a new environment and left there in the care of strangers. They will be expected to mix with other children who they have never met, and do things that are different, new and challenging. On top of all this, they will be observed, assessed, and tested, and expected to conform to a far more rigorous disciplinary system than any they have known before. Their freedom will be severely curtailed, and they will be regimented, and timetabled, and given tasks and assignments, and often told what to do from morning till afternoon.
Going to school is a massive change from the way we used to raise our children. For hundreds of thousands of years most children spent all day, every day with their family and community. As recently as fifty years ago parenting was viewed as a full time occupation - at least till the age of five. However schools are increasingly taking children at younger and younger ages, and children spend far less time with their parents and family.
This month many little children will start school for the first time, and whether they are starting nursery, kindergarten or first grade, the new setting and the new experience is likely to be stressful. However there are things that parents and families can do to help their children make a successful change.
Before the new school year begins, Parents should talk with their child about the changes in the daily routine. They should encourage the child to describe how they feel about starting a new program or school and try to ease any fears they may have.
In the days and weeks before school starts, parents can help their child ease into the new environment and adjust to the new routine. With the more enlightened schools they can arrange to visit the school and classroom with their child, and, if possible, meet her teacher. This will help the child become comfortable in the new environment with her parent beside her.
It is a good idea to get the child used to the school-year bedtime and morning routine a few days early. This may prevent her from being confused, groggy, or cranky on the first day of school. If possible the parent could arrange a play date with another child from her class, preferably one-on-one, so that she knows someone in her class and will be more comfortable.
For the first few days arrive at the new school early - to give her time to settle in. Use the time traveling to school together, or waiting at the bus stop, to talk about what she can expect that day. The parent should always say good-bye, and let her know that she will be met at the end of the day. The child will have an easier time with separation if she’s confident the parent will return to pick her up.
Don’t forget to prepare yourself. Leaving your ‘baby’ and walking away from the school is a very traumatic experience for most. Be brave - and take lots of hankies.